Sunday, May 6, 2012

Expectation

I have been on percocets all week from a thing I did last saturday. I am unconcerned about my typing or misspells or any of the other stuff i just dont care to bother with. I am not on them now but I should be. but that has nothing to do with anything. other than i have been rather stoned and mellow and a lot of time to myself these last seven days. I currently feel like i am a bit of a cry baby baskety type case right now. I am really trying again to make all the people around me really happy. but it is not ever working in my favor as long as I keep my mouth shut and keep the walls HIGHer than me. the stupidest thing is I am just being myself and trying to be more present and a better listener. I guess I just dont know how I will ever do it to gain any sort of last effect or is it affect I dont ever get that word right... i wish i didnt always have to ask but i do i hate asking becuase when i ask i am told i am complaining. since when does anyone read minds.? .... what ever. who really cares.

2 comments:

T said...

Just know that when you change who you are... being a better listener, etc...or simply change the boundaries, people start to freak out. They don't know what to expect and it takes a while to settle.

Sending you love. Get out and be with a friend. It will help to get out of your own head.

Bathwater said...

I find I don't particularly like my posts written under the influence of drugs when I read them later. I think you will find this to be the case also ;)