Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I have a huge list of things to do. I recently moved out of the bf's (although I own that place too)I love my new home and it feels very comfortable and positive.

We are doing the 30 day break. Today is day 3. We are in contact but not by phone. We are both taking this time to work on our selves and try to learn from this experience. If we had truly ended it, I would have taken this time to heal from this anyway so we both decided that we are still worth trying again.

Why is it different this time? We both have had years to make it different? And we have made the choice to blame the other for our actions. I cant fix me while blaming him. He cant either.

This time it is different because we have both lost everything. Everything that really matters. We are both looking within and living without. Doing the work is a lot of work and we both know that 30 days cant cover 6 plus years of radical dysfunction. I guess we are trying to see if we can become datable to each other.

I hear people don't really change. I don't believe that. I have changed over the years. And I will keep changing. I like that about me. Relationships need to grow but people tend to grow apart. I think it is hard to get back into that state of being once this happens. Especially when you have traveled the road we have.

I am optimistic that it can be different. 30 days. And then? Dating each other? Growing together? And growing up together?



Red Shoes said...

I do believe that people... we... change. However, the changes only work for us. I am not sure we can change for someone else... so, 'someone' wants us to do 'this'... or 'that...'

If it's not a direction in which we want to head, it just won't happen, I don't think.

Good luck!


Gabriella - The Stepford Wife said...

people can and do change over time... hopefully this break will do a load of good for you and your boyfriend.