Christmas with the Faux-In-Laws-With-the-Kids

Two weeks is a long time to be away from home in one place with the same people.

I have known the BF's family for about 3.5 years. I met them six or so months after we began our union. They all live in Michigan. Therefore when I met them, I lived with them for the week. And traveled with them to another place to be with the grand parents. The BF has a small but tight family. The Grandparents are in their 80's and a spunky bunch, or shall I say a Spartan bunch. They still go to those games every year.

The following year I saw his family, they, Dad, step-mom, bro and his girlfriend came to Arizona and we took a 2 week road trip with my kids to Humboldt County to spend the weekend at Reggae on the River. Close quarters and constant togetherness. Thoughts of that trip still haunt me.

Last December, the fabulous four came to Arizona again right after Xmas just after my mom died. The trip was planned in advance and they hopped in the car and drove 12 hours for a 24 hour trip to Newport Beach and supported me with opened arms without batting an eye at her funeral.

So this year we trekked out there following the snowy blizzard and remained for approx 12 days. His grandparents had never met my kids, nor had his dad's sister. Whoa back up, The BF is adored by this family. He moved to AZ as a toddler and when he arrives in MI he's a big deal.

Huge Jerry.

I was a bit nervous doing a full Christmas with all of them. I think the GP's originally weren't thrilled that their perfect grandson chose a woman with a family. Grandmother can closely resemble the attitude of Marie from Everyone Loves Raymond. If you know the show, you can understand my reservations.

Through our infrequent but intense, temporary living conditions with his immediate family, I can venture to say, I'm pretty sure they like me and my girls and may have even mentioned this on regular occasions to his aunt and GP's.

We were able to get together with everyone prior to Xmas day. His aunt brought homemade cookies to the girls in really cute Chinese style take out boxes. They loved the boxes and the cookies. And told her so. This may have seemed like a small gesture, but it was very warm and welcoming to me. For all they knew, my kids could have been snotty, ungrateful brats.

We all hugged upon the first reunion and my girls genuinely hug them all with excitement. They had asked the BF many questions and were thrilled to be there.

Come Xmas day, we had more of the same. There was a true generosity from the BF's family and the acceptance of my girls being a part of his life. We had a wonderful day with snow on the ground with a family that barely knows me or my children. I was touched.

This trip had many challenges. First and most trying, One Bathroom.

That's right. Eight People. One Bathroom. We experienced this on our motor home road trip. We managed. You get to know peoples habits pretty well in two weeks time. I know that men have a lot of gas and announce the need to go. Timing is a fine art. Or a noxious fart.

Snapping at your spouse is another thing that is better left behind closed doors. As well as the sarcastic disrespect. This was a real eye opener for me. Check. Checked.

Disagreeing on what to do leads to a lot of time making plans and attempting to make everyone happy. No body wants to make a decision or agree on a suggestion. This is a huge time waster and I tried to take it in stride. I was stuck in this place so just went with it. Mostly.

And my faux brother in-law and his faux wife (aka GF) were not getting along. And it was obvious. And made me sad and check myself again. Checked.

As anyone knows, too much family can be ....too much. And it was, For them and us. We stayed maybe 3 days too long. MI winter was a bit trying, I guess no different then AZ summer. You can be slightly limited in things to do.

But here is what I learned about me, my BF, my kids and his family.

I dont have to have my way all the time and sometimes challenges keep me from becoming overwhelmed.

As much as my BF is like his family, we have a good thing at home and no matter how much I am around him, I never once wanted to be away from him.

My kids are so amazingly adaptable to people and situations. They were on top of each other for 12 days in a new place with people they dont know very well. They thrived and impressed me and I told them so.

The BF family: They are good people with great intentions and a lifetime of love. Before we left I talked to the Grandmother. She told me I have great girls and that I am doing a great job. I dont think she typically gives away compliments she doesn't believe in. That meant the most to me.

Two nights before we left, I told the BF that I was so ready to go home, he agreed. But when we left I had a feeling of sadness. As much as it was time to go it reminded me of how much we dont see our families because of time and distance. I no longer have parents. I can truly say that I love his family and feel welcomed and a part of it and I am grateful that they accepted me and my girls.