- Take an interest in something your lover is really passionate about. This can be especially tough for guys, because you seem to generally feel that if someone else has interests that differ from yours, they're morons. It's not an easy task, and being able to show interest in something that matters to someone you love shows growth—and may seem terrifying. Good, but terrifying. Accomplish this and you'll make her feel better about herself, and you get better insight into what makes her tick.
- Once a week give her the night off cook dinner and do the dishes by yourself. Let her take a hot bath, read a book, or blog on the Web and forget about the dishes. You would be amazed how happy this will make her. It ranks somewhere between a massage by Dante and a Hawaiian vacation.
- Learn to apologize. This is the easiest one, and the hardest one. A relationship is a marathon, and we all fly off the handle too quick or let our temper get the best of us sometimes. When you're wrong, it's best to step up and apologize. It's amazing how fast "I'm sorry" can defuse a stupid argument about something you can't even remember.
- Thank her for putting up with you. Every once in a while, just thank her for putting up with you. That's all you have to say. Don't launch into a list of your faults. Just thank her, and let her know that you understand that you're not the easiest person in the world to live with.
- Clean up after yourself. Take care of that late night snack or your fix it tools that linger for days. Setting dishes in the sink is one thing, but go that extra mile and actually put them in the dishwasher. While your at it toss in a load of clothes. Work together. Less time doing that gives her less time to think about what you're not doing.
Make time for just the two of you. Take her on a date at least once a month. Surprise her by arranging child care and ordering a pizza for the kids. She will be so thrilled at your ability to take care of the details that reservations at the best restaurant in town aren't even necessary. The fact that you love her enough to do this would make a dive bar feel swanky.
- Groom yourself. Don't embarrass her when you venture out of the house. Check the ears, nose, neck and yes, feet for hair or other growths that shouldn't be there. She not only wants you to impress her by how you act, but also by how you look.
- Don't lose your dating manners. Remember, she's your lover, not one of your buddies. Don't burp the dog's name during dinner, or ask her to pull your finger in an elevator. You wouldn't have done that while you were dating, and you shouldn't do it now. Continue to try and impress her. Do everything you can to keep the fire alive, and fight the urge to let the passion die. Find the new, hot place to eat or take her to see a cool band that's in town. Have fun, laugh, and make sure you tell her how great she looks.
Even if you only do some of these things half the time, she will notice and love you even more all the time.