How would you react to someone who told you they have made many sacrifices and lifestyle changes for you? I can see when someone is doing something for me that is making a difference in my life and is even out of the norm for them. I can recognize, give acknowledgement and thanks when i feel that gesture was made, whether or not it is temporary or permanent.
When I make a "sacrifice", I hope that I am doing it for me too. Not that life is all about me. But in my life it is all about me. I have a relationship and kids but if I am being honest, I don't want to do something for anyone out of obligation. I won't do it. It feels fake and phony and it eventually may cause some sort of resentment, for the giver and receiver. I like to think that I make compromises that serve the good of the situation. With that comes acceptance and therefore there are no strings attached nor obligation. And nothing will be gained for it other then harmony and balance. There is no "you owe me".
Relationships are about being true to your self, adding to someones life out of choice. When you bring your true self to the other person, you give them the choice of accepting or rejecting you and the level of relationship. If you are a certain way but you hide that behavior from, say, a husband or a wife, and what you are doing is something you know is not in the highest good of your relationship, then you are not giving them a choice to do what is right for them in their life.
Bring the real you to your relationship. Maybe, just maybe it will have a chance to teach you something about yourself and feel like a choice. Not the right thing to do but something deeper.
2 comments:
We are sisters of sorts my dear.
I do believe we should do things for the benefit of others and gain only the satisfaction of thinking we did something to better them and ourselves.
This was an excellent read because it made me think and ponder.
Kisses xoxo
Obligations sufficate and are unnatural.
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