Thursday, December 11, 2008

Smack it Up, Flip it, Rub it Down

My little dog, Meany has a wart. And it is growing. It used to look like a wart, then it started to look like a barnacle. Now it is taking on the shape and look of a mini hoof. I was hoping it would fall off or go away. The next possible shape may very well be a thumb, which is where it is located. It is gross. The vet wants about 350-400 to remove it. Times are tight. I just dont have it right now. I pay cash for everything and no denerio for el wart-o.

I was on the way home from the grocery store tonight and heard a great song on SiriusXM. I dont know when the XM hopped on but the channel line up changed and now on 9 it is all 90's music. I love 90's club music. BVD. I was jammin along. Early 90's music brings me back to a more carefree time. No kids, no cell phone, and lots of shopping time. I lived in So Cal, near all my family. I had great friends and lots of selfish time to my selfish self. I was living in Laguna Niguel. I was single and dating and was having a great time.

I met my kids dad and moved to Florida where I moved around the state and had my daughter Haley. I never felt at home there. Every place we went, was known well in advance that it was temporary. So I built some serious walls to keep my delicate heart safe. I moved around FL some more until after two years we got great job offers right back home for me. I made him take it or I was going without him. I had had it with the humidity, hurricanes and lonely days and nights. I missed my friends and family and kick ass weather. I could never get used to the Atlantic Ocean and the north being to my left as I contemplated my choices looking out into the endless ocean.

After two years in So Cal and another baby, my little Livi came along. Not much changed but our geographical location. We went back to FL with a 3 1/2 and a 6 week old and a mother that needed some higher walls to get through my new life, again. I had completely lost me. After a severe broken heart I was angry and depressed and made my choice looking to the north that I wouldnt raise my girls like that and made new choices. By the end of the 90's I made a full circle. I was single and dating and was having a great time. I was raising my kids and changing my soulshine.

And there is only a few I can thank for that.

Thank you for helping me recognize the good.


T said...

Amen to that!

Wow, that was awkward said...

Yes, I love those ocean views in AZ. :)

Kimmie said...

First I didn't know you were bilingual. No dinero for el-warto. Santiago wants me to speak spanish so I say back, "Ok-o I will-o learno. Grassy ass senior."

Tracing back our steps is really cathartic and has so much knowledge of self attached to it.

It is crazy the decisions we make at times but they do give us something.

Florida stinks - amen sister.

Nice Peace of Buddhy said...

@ T: How about a Good Goddamn?

@Cubshead: Yes the ocean views I hear are nice in Denver too.

@ Kimmie: Yes 2 years of Spanish and it is just easier to add an EL to the beginning and an O at the end. El-get it-O? See how easy?