Friday, July 18, 2008
Of course I trust you. Is that a..... HICKEY!?!?!
So the other day I take the girls to get their eyes checked. Liv has the 20/20 vision and Haley does not. Glasses or contacts? She decides to go with contacts. In order to get contacts you have to take a little class so they can see if you are a good candidate to poke your finger in your eye so you can see. They also tell you the importance of clean hands so you dont get an infection.
Well, little miss make out puts her hair up and there is clearly a fading mark indicating that some one has left their mark. Since the little sis and the eyeball guy is there, I decide to wait to get her alone. This also give me time to accept that I really need to keep my cool but remind her that I can do a full body search if I have to.
My mom hated hickeys. HATED THEM on me. Remember Mommy Dearest, with no wire hangers? My mom was the mommy dearest with NO MORE HICKEYS!..I got away many I'm sure. But she always saw them after I took a shower, probably preparing for the next randy encounter. My hair would be up in towel or something. BUSTED! Oddly, she never questioned me or asked who they were from. I finally put an end to the grossness of them at about 12, JK prob when I was about 16.
Finally, I have her in the car and casually ask, " Who gave you that hickey?"
Smirkey face replies, as I expected of course, "What hickey?"
"Come on. Let's be honest here"
She is squirming and sweating and interested in what is out the window. Smirkey little suck.
"When did 'Tate" put this graffiti on you?" I say.
"Saturday" she mumbles and shifts, checks her phone. Scratches her nose.
" Where did this take place" I inquire, uttering to myself ' dont freak out'
"Um... at the Movies, but I didnt know it was gonna happen."
I tend to rant. I remained calm. I said. "Be a lady, he's not your BF so dont give him privileges he has no right to. "
In a wee voice "Ok. Please dont ... tell dad."
Ah ha! Now I have a carrot!
"Dont let it happen again. Im watching you. Can I have Tate's number?"
The look of horror on her face let me know she knows I mean business. I still trust her, she is doing everything so should be at her age.
The best advice I ever received from someone about being a mom is this: Change when they change, and grow when they grow. I pick my battles.
It was easy to let her walk, run and stay with friends. I accepted that she can fly on an airplane without me to see her dad. I have seen her capable of cooking an entire meal by herself and enjoyed her happiness in that accomplishment. I believe in her to be able to work out problems that come up (aka Girl Drama) with a positive outcome. I havent seen her heart break over a stupid boy yet and that will be a tough one. But I decided that now that she is growing into a (fine) young woman, it is hard to let go. There is so much to teach her and so much she is so naive about.
Let go? Never. Not ever.