Monday, October 7, 2013

faced-embraced- erased

After this year of losses. and fear. i finally looked at it accepted it and felt it. i thanked it for coming to teach me what i needed and said goodbye to what was gone and smiled in peace knowing i won. once i let go.I opened up. and loved showed up. After this year i knew i could survive anything because i had me. and i am fucking awesome. the stokers celebrate the anniversary of the stroke calling it a rebirth day. I'm calling it i am alive today.Nov 15 Th the 1 year anniversary of my life from hell festival  journey i will declare it the end  of what was and the beginning. Of all things alive and well.
In the end i knew i did it because of me. i always had it in me i just made excuses to blame. i survived with everything i am.  when everyone disappeared i was still left.  i close me eyes every night with love on my mind and in my heart i wake up and continue to manifest my future. and that door is closed forever to some people. i also had to painfully let go of.no one knows of the tears I cried that day. once i did. love walked in and the switch happened. it was like a miracle. so i will never forget these lessons of pain and change. this work was difficult but necessary. i can smile now and laugh at the drama i created and holy fuck. am i ever happy.   I'm glad i gave myself the real time i needed to heal emotionally. and purposefully. it is a change that is forever. i know the exact moment it took place too. i don't love you anymore because i finally love me enough.  I deserve it too. i'm nicer to people my energy fits better . this isn't about what happened to me its about where i am.i don't have to keep living that story. my real fuck off.i am now happy

5 comments:

Red Shoes said...

You sound like you are making great progress, dear... please keep it up!

~shoes~

Memphis Steve said...

I'm glad that you're doing so much better. I hate that you've gone through so much pain, but I'm glad that you are coming through it stronger and finally feeling happy again. I've missed you.

NicePeace said...

@ shoes pure determination i deserve a better love.

@henry i feel great these days- i still have goals but i have so much gratitude an hope!

thank you for the wishes and encouragement

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Toby Valentine said...

Please, continue your blog, I really like it.
Wish y all the best.

Regards
Toby, ideals