Monday, October 7, 2013

faced-embraced- erased

After this year of losses. and fear. i finally looked at it accepted it and felt it. i thanked it for coming to teach me what i needed and said goodbye to what was gone and smiled in peace knowing i won. once i let go.I opened up. and loved showed up. After this year i knew i could survive anything because i had me. and i am fucking awesome. the stokers celebrate the anniversary of the stroke calling it a rebirth day. I'm calling it i am alive today.Nov 15 Th the 1 year anniversary of my life from hell festival  journey i will declare it the end  of what was and the beginning. Of all things alive and well.
In the end i knew i did it because of me. i always had it in me i just made excuses to blame. i survived with everything i am.  when everyone disappeared i was still left.  i close me eyes every night with love on my mind and in my heart i wake up and continue to manifest my future. and that door is closed forever to some people. i also had to painfully let go one knows of the tears I cried that day. once i did. love walked in and the switch happened. it was like a miracle. so i will never forget these lessons of pain and change. this work was difficult but necessary. i can smile now and laugh at the drama i created and holy fuck. am i ever happy.   I'm glad i gave myself the real time i needed to heal emotionally. and purposefully. it is a change that is forever. i know the exact moment it took place too. i don't love you anymore because i finally love me enough.  I deserve it too. i'm nicer to people my energy fits better . this isn't about what happened to me its about where i am.i don't have to keep living that story. my real fuck off.i am now happy


Red Shoes said...

You sound like you are making great progress, dear... please keep it up!


Memphis said...

I'm glad that you're doing so much better. I hate that you've gone through so much pain, but I'm glad that you are coming through it stronger and finally feeling happy again. I've missed you.

NicePeace said...

@ shoes pure determination i deserve a better love.

@henry i feel great these days- i still have goals but i have so much gratitude an hope!

thank you for the wishes and encouragement

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babloo said...

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