Friday, December 9, 2011

Beautiful Strangeness

Sooooo, I finally got through to the ex. Rather I let the kids dad know how his life affects his kids. I let him know that they are upset and hurt by his lack of fathering. I let him know that he lost his connection with them. I let him know that they always say "It doesn't matter" when it comes to his let downs. I let him know that all this time is gone. And he agreed. And he reached out. And he started a face book. And he is listening and he is not saying things that he thinks they want to hear. And it has only been a week. But it is a start.

And he sent me this:
hey, thanks for setting me straight. I just had a great time with olivia on line and the phone. thank you for caring maureen, you are a great person. the only thing is i wish is that you did not have to set me straight. thanks again

In other news. I love christmas shopping. And electric blankets. And hot salsa. And planning vacations. And I ate at this place called Cornish Pastie Co. Fuck. So good.

I went to one of the only Barnes and Nobles in the area today. My daughter wants a book for xmas. I saw an old couple walking to the door. They were about the age of my mom and dad. My moment of sadness and longing made me appreciate NOW. Just being able to be alive and have love and food and be able to give. It made me slow down. and smile at people and look them in the eye. Ever notice that nobody says hi? We all stand next to each other and act as if no one is there. I'm going to be be the weird one and talk to you.

I see this one guy walk his three dogs everyday. But he is just standing on the side walk. One of the stupid dogs just barks at everything moving. I would Ceasar Milan that dog and 'Sht' that annoying dog in the throat. Then I would tell that dumb guy that he is the problem. What the hell are people thinking? I have two chihuahuas. They dont bark at anyone. they are calm and know their place. Every dog can be taught.

I still havent worked-out in 5 months.

I work a kick ass job thanks to me.

I am slightly less crazy although I have been worrying more about people.

I have been setting a daily goal.

I truly dislike cold air.

I also despise the media lately. I was watching the news and it had some segement on the to 11 things that changed us in 2011 or something and it literally started talking about charlie sheen. OMG! WTF? I had to yell at the TV and I just couldnt watch another moment of BS.

I have way more gray hair than I care to admit. That in itself serves no purpose. Of course I dye my hair. Unless you look great with gray hair every woman should budget for a great dye job. Thing is, they are always wiry and course. moving on.

My youngest daughter told me a friend of hers confided in her about a boy that has stressed her out and she is now cutting herself. I dont know this young girl but she is talking to her and encouraging her to talk to her mom. Oy! these kids.I will keep following up. I keep learning I can only help someone that wants help. Kids do such a good job of keeping silent about serious stuff...

I am going snowboarding at the end of the month.

My 16 year old is turning 17 on the 15th.


The Six-Fingered Monkey said...

I'm really glad you got through to him and I hope (for the sake of the kids) he keeps it up.

Absent fathers make me so sad (especially since I am the product of one). I cannot imagine a life without a deep connection with my boys.

Sadly, my ex-wife is the polar opposite of you. She seems to want to see me die a quick death and disappear forever. Sometimes, with what she puts me through, I kinda want to.

Good for you for doing right by your kids.


NicePeace said...

I am sorry to hear your ex does that to her kids.

Your boys deserve to a happy family life, however that dynamic shows up.

T said...

"I'm going to be be the weird one and talk to you."

^^ I love you for that statement alone.

Sounds like you've got your head on straight when most people this time of year don't. Good on you for loving anyway.