Monday, August 16, 2010
Private Post- Do Not Read
I need a new bff. I think it is true that you should be friends with your mate, but i dont think your mate should be your end-all be-all best friend.
There are times you need to bitch about your spouse and usually bitching about your spouse to your spouse is a lead into a big fight. Sometimes you just need to say something out loud and have another person relate to what you are saying and if the topic is your spouse is kinda being an ass or was or whatever, then it just needs to be said.
I have no said listener so I tend to tell said spouse when he is being something I didnt like. He denies and I look like a *blank* <-- Insert favorite name here.
So I am taking applications for a new bff. Someone to laugh with and at and relate to. Someone with real support and advice and a swift ass kicker now and again. Someone that doesn't pout and place blame and can notice when others are acting like a shithead. Apply within.
So, what do you do with teens? OMG. I sometimes want to sneak out in the middle of the night and catch a plane to another country. My youngest pulled off a little scheme until I figured out things weren't quite as they seemed. Mother's intuition. Middle school has to be one of the hardest times for a young know it all. She has been a trooper throughout her entire restriction but I hope she learned to NOT do it again. When I was her age each passing troubled time became a learning curve on how not to get caught.
This is leading to a new level of parenting and some painful disagreements with the spouse. Now I can see where the biggest arguments are about kids, money and sex. They all are a result of the other. Since said spouse isnt the blood dad it make me into the mama bear and although i am trying to let go of some of that, i guess we are both learning how to balance this for the good of them as well as us. In Reality, disagreeing about what to do with the kids has nothing to real versus stepparent it has everything to do with just being raised differently. The real dad isnt around and maybe it's me, but I am guessing from experience that I wouldn't agree with him all the time either.
I do believe that we both have a tremendous amount of love and discipline to offer them, but I am pretty sure I am not alone in dealing with a step and discipline disagreements. I have never been a step parent so I have not experience in how to do it. Sometimes other peoples kids kinda suck.
I will step back now and keep the rest behind the big wall I have up.