Monday, August 2, 2010

Horror Scopes



I find horoscopes fun and a true sign of what to expect from here on out. I read it on the internet and everything is practically true. I am an awesome Aquarius. I like sudden change, I'm unpredictable, social and a humanitarian even if I am mostly rebellious. And how fun that I can say I am ruled by Uranus. Wait? What? I have had countless lovers in this life time I thought it would be fun to explore what the experts say about my choices over the years. I didnt make any of this up. I got it off a real dot com.

The names may or may not have been changed.

John: So my first boyfriend was much older than me. Like law permitting older.

He was so fucking controlling. But we had a lot of fun when we werent hating each other. It was the 80's coke haze days. Im not sure that we were compatible even a little bit. He was a Capricorn.

Aquarius and Capricorn love compatibility
Both signs have a strong sense of self, but Aquarius wants to be free and Capricorn wants to dominate. They will find out soon that their romance has turned into a friendship. it is uneasy for the Capricorn to cope with the Aquarius in intimate affairs. The Aquarius is a inventive, free-will person. He/she can't long be in love with the practical Capricorn. Aquarius is continually on the go and likes to spend money. Capricorn considers that frivolous and tries to impose strict controls. Aquarius may go through a number of jobs, searching for the right challenges but Capricorns' need for financial security is so strong that this will horrify him/her. This is not a satisfactory connection, and marriage will require efforts.

So basically Cappys are controlling and fearful.

Jim; We were engaged to be married for all the wrong reasons. He was a sports junky and wouldnt give me enough attention. When I was getting attention from others, well, he wanted to kick some ass. I hate jealous guys....

Aquarius and Virgo love compatibility
Both are mental signs rather than emotional, but Virgo looks on the darker side of life while Aquarius is imaginative and optimistic. There is no strong sexual attraction between them. Aquarius needs activity, social events, a wide circle of acquaintances. Virgo enjoys a quiet existence with a few close friends. There will be neither especially strong excitation, nor interesting erotic games. The sober, practical Virgo is inclined to criticize the Aquarius' generosity. Their goals are very different: Aquarius wants to be as brilliant as possible; Virgo wants to be as efficient as possible. The marriage is possible in case they both have strong feelings towards each other.

No. Too unemotional or at least not emo enough to give in to me. We had a close bond but he wanted to be too restrictive for my tastes.


Baby daddy - A fellow Aquarian, sales man self centered and aloof.

Aquarius and Aquarius love compatibility
They are perfectly compatible with each other. They are both inventive in love. However, there are no deep feelings between them . They are both too rational, reasonable and moderate for deep and strong feelings. There are many personal interests. Given, that they are unsuited physically, they will not find this odd or a reason to allow hostilities into their relationship, for sex does not play a big role in either ones life as they are easily distracted by daily happenings and other peoples problems. In general it promises to be a pleasant connection and reliable marriage as a result.

What a semi crock-o-poo. Read: someone will drink too much and want to have sex with other people. And lie and basically be a selfish fuck.

Tom: Sagittarius we had a very romantic and satisfying love affair until...

Aquarius and Sagittarius love compatibility
The combination usually has a great chance for success. These two are so innovative about lovemaking that they ought to charge admission. In addition, they inspire each other intellectually, for Aquarius has far-out, inventive ideas and Sagittarius is optimistic and visionary. They both are unpredictable, active and cheerful. They both like making love. They have rich imagination and they are full of interesting fantasies. They love to be the center of everyone's attention. Usually they are interesting people which are not suffering from jealousy. There is a very good chance for a successful relationship. Many of their values are alike and their need to be outgoing and sociable is inherent in both of these people. Aquarius and Sagittarius both understand the need to let the other be when they need their freedom.

Until a big move renders one completely clingy and reliant on the other for every part of their existence. Boring. Lots of love making, according to the experts.

That guy around now is a Leo. The polar opposite of me.

Aquarius and Leo love compatibility
Leo can't get the cooperation or the admiration it requires, and Aquarius resents Leo's attempt to rule. They have different views of independence: to Aquarius it means freedom to explore new horizons; to Leo it means pursuing a glamorous, extravagant lifestyle. Aquarius is interested in the world; Leo is strictly interested in Leo. Their sexual life will be unsatisfactory for Leo as Aquarius can and will find others that capture their interests and this will frustrate Leo, causing Leo to think that his/her mate is inhuman and uncaring. While these two will be attracted to one another, they are zodiac opposite which means that it can be bad as well as good connection.

Hmmmm. Hahaha. All of the scopes seemed accurate but this. My Leo isnt glamorous but is extravagant. Wants bigger, faster things. We are the bad and good connection. okay its kinda on track. But that can change overnight...

For the record this is only the grown up relationships i have had and none of the what was i thinking hookups. Who cares anyway?

1 comment:

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Thanks for stopping by and the follow, hope you stay a while. I love horoscopes too and read mine all the time.