My mom taught me a lot of lessons in life, there are a ton of obvious ones but some I am still learning about. She had little sayings. Little sayings that made no sense to me at the time, and sayings that make all the sense in the world now.
In fact, I use those same words my mother used. Blood is thicker than water. You have to be a friend to have a friend. Waste not, want not. And so on.
My mom also showed me by example. Oh yes. I got many of my bad qualities from her but I dont blame her.
She also made sure I knew there was room for more. And food for more. My parents struggled, but I never knew it as a kid. Their finances were private and they didn't discuss it with us kids.
When I was a young adult, I lived at home. I had friends here and there that ran into problems. They ended up as single moms in their late teens and early 20's. Sometimes, they needed to "Go". If you have ever been in a place when you have to just suddenly leave you know that fearful moment. Where do I go, what am I going to do? My mother always let those friends live with us. It may have only been a week, maybe a month, but she always gave my friends a break for how ever long it took. And they were able to get to that place and move on.
We also always had odd ball people at dinner on holidays. There was always enough food. You can't let someone not have a place to be I can hear her say.
I have been put into this position. Times are tough and everyone needs a break right now. I recently took a cut in pay and I feel the pain. But I am safe and so are my kids. I have never been put to the 'what am I going to do' challenge. But some one close to me has. I would do anything for her but I am financially unable to go that far. But I can offer her a chance to get what she needs, have her kids safe from homelessness and offer her love and support. The rest is up to her.
When you feel like all hope is gone, that one glimmer of support can do wonders for the soul. And finding that freedom of letting go and giving it up to your highest good is a gift that is indescribable.
My children do not know my friend or her kids. But they are so excited to expand our family, open our home and give what they can because we all need someone to say I love you and I care and we will heal this and do this together. You dont have to be alone anymore.
My dear friend is coming to stay with us. When she was able to let go of her situation, everything started to fall into place. Everything. There is truth in saying whatever you resist- persists. The chaos is subsiding the hurt is healing and the excitement is building. We are both scared to death but we are both being realistic. She is not a victim she is a survivor. The beauty I have found is in telling people about what I am doing and the response is amazing. A dear friend offered a car for her to use and others have offered items of need just to help out with the 5 kids we now have. It feels great.
When I first mentioned this to the BF the only thing he said is, Have her come here. We will help her.
Thank you my love
9 comments:
"each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- anais nin
you are one of the most amazing people i've ever met. i'm lucky that we're family. your soul has always been such a bright light in my life. i've always felt at home with you. the way i do at my own mother's. the love and acceptance you have for others has moved me to tears.
This story brings up a memory of when I was a child and our house was burned to the ground by an arsonist.
The insurance money didn't come in for a while and we were homeless for a few months until it did.
When one is a child, and situations like this happen, it often looked on as a mini vacation. In a child's eyes, loss of material things are not items which are missed.
It seems when there is love, a lack of stability can only be seen through adult eyes.
I will never forget what my Aunt Teresa did for us after she saw we had no clothes or toys. She told her children to go into their rooms and dig through their toy boxes and to split up their toys with us.
Looking back, I still remember the looks on their faces and how they didn't even argue about losing a third of their things. My cousin Suzy gave me most of her Barbie dolls and put their bodies in one pile and their heads in another one. (I never did understand just why she liked playing with headless dolls but I had a fun time trying to fit the right head to the right body.)
Years later Susie died in a horrible car accident. She was ejected and killed instantly.
When I got the call and was told she was no longer with us, I cried my eyes out.
I didn't remember her as the woman she has become. I didn't remember so many things.
But I couldn't stop the tears from falling when I remembered her as that little girl who opened up her heart and gave to me when I had nothing but the clothes on my back.
Sorry about the spelling errors above.
My cell phone has a different spell check system and sometimes it likes to insert words to make me look illiterate.
God damn Blackberry.
Psycho: So many worlds bring people together. What were the chances?
Blondie: Thank you for saying that. An open heart has peace. I love you.
Shelly: People touch us and we never forget. When I have been in my moments of fleeing, once I have accepted it, the adventure begins.
I have gypsy-ed around with my kids and they feel the same, resistance then acceptance.
Our children need to be with us, you are right that nothing else matters to them.
My kids have already reached out to the kids by texting and IM'ing to welcome and reassure them that this is their home too. So we all win in every capacity.
sara pretty much said it all... you both are amazing and i am so glad to see that each day your daughters are growing more and more to be like their amazing mother. i am so lucky to call you part of my family. good luck with the transition, i'm sure it will be trying but you are really doing a wonderful thing. i love you guys!
I am a first time commenter here. This just made me feel good. I too am willing and have opened my doors to a few friends. My friends and family have done the same for me. It is amazing how good it feels to help someone, expecially the ones that you know would do it for you.
There was this dumb wooden plaque thing hanging on the kitchen wall when I was a kid. "A busy house is a house with love". I really thought it was the dumbest thing ever until I grew up. But like you, we too always had the ability for a blanket and a couch, a dish and some casserole....whatever it took. It's not the "now" things are tough, it comes in any stage in life. It could be a mother or father, a brother or sister, aunt or uncle and friends and neighbors. We invite them in and share what we have out of love, not duty. They'd do the same for us without question and maybe someday they'll have to. I say the more the merrier because after all.....(points up to wooden plaque that is now in his home). Need I say more? I didn't think so.
........ of course, there was also an oversized wooden spoon and fork on the wall she used to beat my ass with when I was bad too. So not everything mom did or had was perfect in my eyes. lol.
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