Keep talking, they are listening

I found out my daughters BFF is going to start experimenting with drugs.

I saw the bulletins on My Space. They were posting back and forth about it.

I am posting the conversation. All our children go through this . We all went through this.

Talk to your kids. And then keep talking. And say it again.

I will follow up to this post with our conversation about these bulletins. I am in the mind of my kid, she let me in. She doesnt tell me everything, but she is talking to me.

I am SO proud of my daughter. She is a remarkable young woman.

PS: She is honor roll and knows how to spell! HAHA


Here is the conversation in order, unedited:

My kid:

i think kira's right, and i think she makes a good point with some things.

i'm not trying to start shit or anything, at all. but we used to hang out everyday and now you wouldn't even say hi to me, unless i said it first. but that's besides the point that i'm trying to make.

i think the decision that your gonna make is really stupid, and maybe you do have a good reason to, but is it really that important.
i know that if i was going to do this then you would be like wtf?
and i may end up being a hypocrite about this, but i just dont know why all the sudden you want to? maybe becasue of your boy or something, but i really think your better than that.

i KNOW you are. but i'm not telling you not to, just think about how dumb it is.

and how much weve talked about how stupid, and pointless, and how retarded those people that do it are.

but i miss you, and i'm looking out for you, that's all.

i wish we were as close as we used to be, but that's changed and so have you, thats not bad, but not good because i miss a lot about you.

i hope you dont go downhill with this, just know im always here for you.

i love you<3>

Her friend:

okay seriously?

you guys are making a big deal. its not bad to try new things something you havent ever tryed and you always wanted to know what its like.

you may do everything your mom tells you and you can stay that way because it is good for you. but im not going to just sit around and wonder. trying it once isnt going to make me fail my grades not be able to go to college. and do the things you wanna do.

im not the girl you knew in 7th grade im not a baby and im not scared anymore.
(NOT SAYING YOU GUYS ARE BABYS OR ANYTHING)
also im DEFINETALY not doing this for "some" guy to like me more i wouldnt do that. he likes me for me and not the those reasons hes not like that.

your taking this like i always do it?

im better off doing what i wanna do.

My kids response:

you CAN do what you want. you make us out to be goodygoods, just because we dont want to do something that's illegal.

and yeah you have grown up too, but it's a drastic change within a few weeks.

i just don't want to lose you as a best friend, because that's already happeneing. and i dont know what to do.

then stop wondering, do it.

what's next, are you gonna wonder what its like to be in jail?
well you will be if you get caught.

i love you, im sorry, whatever you want to hear.

i just care, that's all,
please understand.

Her friends reply:

you guys are taking it like i do it all the time.

im gonna do it once big deal its nothing yeah im so going to wonder what its like in jail i already do wonder.

seriously everyone does it. just because were gonna try it doesnt mean its the end of the world.

yeah well things have changed and everything else is going to change.

if you dont open your eyes now and get used to it.

your never going to catch up.

My Kids:

so since everyone does it, your gonna do it? im not taking it like that at all, im just saying people do it once, and like it and keep doing it, thats why people KEEP doing in like your guy. im not trying to make this a big deal, but honestly if your dad found out, he would.

do whatever you want, but don't get fucked up, like they do. and dont say they don't because theyve said it themselves.

wow, im not dumb obviously things are gonna change, like you.

and i am used to it, AND im caught up.

but i know im not gonna get caught up in stupid shit like that.

whatever, seriously. i thhought you would take into consideration of what im telling you and how much i care, but you didnt, and wont.

i'm sorry you think im a dumbass and dont know whats going on.

because i do.

but you sure dont tell me. you have your "pod" and no one else is invited.

The non listner friend:

i didnt even call you dumb.

and im not doing it because everyone does it.

sorry i want to try something new. sorry im changing. sorry i hangout with different people now. sorry im not going to yet you guys stop me from something thats small and shouldnt even be geting a fight over.



i wouldnt want to invite anyone else in right now. shit will just start to happen again. right now everything is just going perfect and i really dont want it to be ruined. i havent been so happy in a really long time.

and as i was saying about shit happening again i wouldnt want to invite people to in because some people like to flirt. SORRY.

but its the truth.

so dont try to hide it.

And last reponse from Haley:

its not a fight?
and i dont purposly flirt, and why would i flirt with him, my friends guy? thats fucked up, and i would never do that to you, i guess you dont know me then.

you and brandon can have your thing, and i dont think i want to be included if your gonna be doing that stuff becasue some people have standards and live up to them, and im pretty sure getting baked, and doing illegal stuff isnt on that list.

im not gonna try to care for you about this anymore, its your decision and you can do whatever the fuck you want.

ill always care, at least i think i might.

love you
hope this doesnt effect our friendship,
cause i know ill be excluded now.

im sorry you feel like i would do that,
im just sorry

And her friends last reply:

I must not know you?
well then i must not. because you did. i saw it i KNOW i saw it.


i dont need you to care.

because i dont even care. this is nothing.

and you guys are just taking it over board. you guys dont even know half of it.

if you guys are going to give me crap about it and caitlin or sam.

your just waisting your time.

because i dont need to be lectured by a 14 year old girl that doesnt even know what im thinking. what im doing. or what im going to do.