Monday, August 1, 2011
I recently read a blog with this paragraph.
A woman who is on a yogic path understands that souls want what souls want and that a relationship is meant to be a place where those desires can be expressed without shame or guilt. This can make her seem like she has the potential to be so free-spirited that she just wants to be free-wheelin, free-loadin and free-lovin her way around the world. Not so. A yogic-minded woman simply understands for herself that we are all here to be each others teachers and students and that there is no better place for the expression of that dynamic than in a loving partnership.
I am a woman that understands that souls want what souls want and that a relationship is meant to be a place where those desires can be expressed without shame or guilt. Why Do I constantly fight the ebb and flow of my desires? Well, namely, I try to make others happy and find that I am unable to be responsible for anyone. I do contribute to my family's well being, whether it is physical or emotional. At the same time I fight my heart and my mind.
I want to jump in the river and go with the real flow that my un-liberated soul is begging for. I will get there I just have my foot on the shore. I am ready for people that are positive and loving and crave a deeper meaning in their lives, a connection of the mind and heart. I am ready to let go of the past and the people and things that no longer serve my soul. That are too small minded to open their own hearts. I am ready to learn that my way isnt the only way just another way to hear what the universe is telling me but what people in my life dont 'get' about me. I want to feel no shame that I have insecurities and issues that even I dont understand and know how to get rid of. My intentions are good, yet when I am living fearfully I tend to put a wall up and hide from those demons that keep reminding me that something is 'wrong' with me.
It is difficult to live in a life monitoring every thought and feeling. I have a hard time filtering what I say. People dont like to know someones truth. It makes it feel like confrontation. It feels like others need and want to fix you. Why is it so hard to say "Today sucks and I need a hug"? Why can't people relate to REAL life?
I guess I dont need to know, I just need to be. I will only be the one you told me to be. I will continue to hide what you dont want to see. And why does this scare me?
Because I still want a partnership. And I want to go home.