I just returned from Burning Man 2011. I have a whole other post with pictures that will talk about just that trip. In the meantime, I learned some things I didn't expect to learn but asked to see. This grand universe is really listening.
This picture was taken at this event. This temple was built for this event and burned at this event. The enormous energy contained in it had an extreme powerful emotional impact on me. People are encouraged to let go in this temple. With 60,000 participants involved here, I found tens of thousands tributes, letters, pictures and personal items asking for forgiveness, trust, promises, hate, pain and sorrow, peace, love. I cannot express to you how the emotions swept over me and allowed me to weep. The moment you stepped in this amazing place, you felt it.
The oneness we all have is so undeniable. So many people would step inside and you could see the gratitude of spirit of people. There were vigils, tears, hugs, acceptance, chants and a feeling of love that you could smell, taste and feel.
The theme of this temple was called The Temple of Transition. So, I got my array of sharpie markers to add to the already adorned walls of endless letters that brought rivers of tears to my eyes. When I went to add my peace and requests, I froze. I questioned what I needed to let go of. So I stood there among the souls and I asked.
I asked my brother to forgive me and come back in to my life. I wrote that I hope I make a difference in my children's lives. I told my parents that I miss them. I asked for peace. I asked to be forgiven for my past actions. I asked for transition to find love and harmony. I thanked the people who made this temple. I apologized for my past and asked to be accepted. I asked for kindness and understanding. I prayed that some how he and I could make it.
I gave my pens away. There were many other spirits needing release. I found that I wanted to return to the temple during the 7 days I was there. It really left me speechless. And then it Burned. And a new one will be put in its place.
As most of you readers (the 5 of you...) know, I am not a good listener to the endless signs I receive. I don't go with the natural order of things even though I claim to. I rebel and resist. I know what it feels like to feel hate. I actually hate the feeling of it yet believe that everything has its opposite. These opposites teach us and then allow us to make a choice. I have made choices that had painful and hurtful outcomes. It is what it is.
My transition came to me much sooner than I thought it would. After such I beautiful week I was able to see through the wall of pretense. I felt hate. As a giver and as a receiver. This came as a surprise to me. It is difficult to pretend it is okay and accept someone who turns on you. It is shameful to feel the violent outbursts I have when the abusive name calling starts. I dont know what love looks like today. But I will rediscover the beauty of it with a soulfully loving spirit that wants to trust and let go. Grow and empower. Support and learn.
My temple has burned and the ashes have blown away. Time to clean up the mess and rebuild my beautiful temple where love grows and peace comes.
Peace.
